It depends if you’re a geek, a suit or a creative.
The geek says: “The full set of requirements have been hit”
The suit says “It will maximise ROI”
The creative says: “It’s a work of bloody genius”
The geek says: “The site has been accepted as on brand”
The suit says: “The client is happy, can I go home now?”
The creative says: “Let’s get drunk”
There is no such thing as a bad job in a bad agency. Agencies have clients and clients pay you. If they don’t understand you it’s your fault
Agencies have staff, some of them will be more important than you, they don’t want to make your life hell, they just want to meet their targets. If you help them do this they will leave you alone
Some staff are less important. Don’t take it for granted that they will do what you say. If you shout at them it wouldn’t make them faster, only grumpier and more prone to mistakes. You have to earn their respect.
Most of the people you work with an integrated agency aren’t more or less important than you, whatever it might say on your contract. They’re equal, and if you want their skill and experience, you have to play nice
Then there are the other agencies circling your clients, they definitely think they can do your job better than you, Keep an eye on them, they might have a point. Learn from them.
It’s a jungle and all you have is a pile of broken sticks. It’s going to be hard but interesting. It’s going to be different every time.
There is no such thing as the perfect job in the perfect agency. Agencies have clients (hopefully) and clients are annoying. They don’t pay you enough, they keep you awake at night, they reject your ideas, they want everything yesterday, they don’t understand. Agencies have staff, Some of them will be more important than you, they are obsessive compulsive control freaks, or are they just idiots? Some staff are less important than you. They are supposed to do creative work for you. They don’t always seem very keen on work, they go to incredible lengths to avoid having a new idea, they are slow and lazy but at the same time hypersensitive. If you upset them, they won’t work. They think they could do your job much better. Then there are the other agencies circling your clients, they definitely think they can do your job better than you, they want to kill you.
It’s jungle and all you have is pile of broken sticks. It’s going to be hard to build anything.
I am a real one. I never wanted to be a digital creative director. There was no such thing in 1988 when I went to St Martins to follow my dream of becoming a designer like my heroes at Push Pin Studios and Pentagram and Hipgnosis. All of these guys were already deeply unfashionable by then, blown away but the startlingly ugly typography of Neville Brody, the crass post modernism of Malcolm Garret and the pretentious posturing of Peter Saville.
Too many adjectives in that sentence Willow. Don’t do as I do, do as I say.
When I couldn’t get a job as a real graphic designer I went back to my old job, making tea for grumpy old bastards on the night shift at the typesetters. In the corner they had an ugly box with two slots where you could feed it with floppy discs that weren’t floppy. It had a portrait orientated black and white screen. Big fucking deal.
So CD ROM’s and later the incredibly slow and awkward Internet seemed quite exciting in comparison. I had done my best to exclude any images, colour and round corners from my degree show, and here was a medium that had none of these idle temptations.
So, it’s Monday night, the madfashionbitch is in Norfolk and I’m just back from the Al Amin in Cambridge Heath Road, the curry house I’ve been patronising for over 20 years. It’s bloke time. So I tune cable TV to Dave; it’s endless repeats of QI tonight. Bliss.
But, when the ad break comes on, first up “Tena Lady” [very funny, but clearly not aimed at me], followed by some kind of shampoo [sorry I wasn't paying attention, can't remember which] which is conclusive proof that WOMEN HAVE BEEN ALLOWED INTO THE CLUBHOUSE.
Dave was supposed to be just for men, along with real ale and prog rock, but hey, it’s been so successful it’s expanded way beyond it’s target audience. I work in advertising or marketing, which relies on the continuation ad-funded content to survive, so I should be happy, shouldn’t I?
Content, I like content, but Dave don’t make much of that [John Cleese testing electric cars doesn't count].
Bear with me, I’m getting there.
Dave gets all the ad revenue, without making any new programmes. So we just end up watching repeats in ever decreasing circles [spot the cultural reference].
So there’s something to spend your digital marketing budgets on. Make some programmes. It doesn’t cost as much as you’d think.
But keep out of my shed with your banners and pop up email bulletins.
Thank you, and good night.
It’s been a while since anyone made a sexy mainstream movie. Whether Black Swan is actually sexy or just slightly disturbing is a moot point.
But it’s almost as if the twin pincers of the euphemistically named adult film industry and advertising aping the art direction of adult film has left no room for adults. Sex is for teenagers, real grown ups are too busy worrying about the recession and the war and their own teenage children.
only one thousand three hundred and thirty one to go
shameless I have copied my groovy daughter willow’s all one word heading style but when you’re happy who cares. Fresh cuts of goat [don't tell anyone it's actually kid] lime, thyme, ginger and scotch bonnets marinating in the fridge. Old fart radio 2 in the background, a gigantic tub of cheesey whotsits washed down with original guiness. Specialist i wish i was.
Now where can I get a recipe for rice and peas?
When I was a student, first time around, in the early 1980′s no alternative dude with any credibility would be see dead in denim jeans. Oxfam suits, army surplus, homemade black drainpipes whatever. But that all changed in 1985 when Nick Kamen stripped down to his boxers in a laundrette. And white people outside of the Northern Soul scene started listening to Marvin Gaye.
In a world where current trends in fashion and music change and recycle with increasing speed, the possibility of any alternative existing for longer than a microsecond before being ‘discovered’ by mainstream journalists.
Denim meanwhile is now apparently permanently in fashion but not necessarily Levis denim. And what about suits? In advertising the client facing guys used to be called suits, and they used to wear suits, even if they were women. Now they’re called account executives and they wear fashion, which most of the time means denim.
So in an attempt to rekindle a glorious past when, to frighten straight people, all you had to do was wear a black suit with a red shirt and pink hair I will be getting the suits on. Today being monday, I will be wearing ‘Monday’; Italian 100% wool, grey, single breasted suitably sombre for the day of the week.
Be afraid, be very afraid
Monday's Suit
