These are two things that you do in the garden. However you can drink gin and tonic and ice and a slice of lemon, in the garden when it’s raining if you really want to, but you can’t do the mowing when it’s raining. In fact you need several really good gin and tonic and ice and a slice of lemon days with plenty of sun and sky and birdsong and rest to prepare yourself and the lawn for mowing. Peter was warned about the size of his garden, but he wouldn’t listen and he had to make it that big and now he is paying the price and mowing the widest and the wettest lawn in the Western Isles. Last year a family of intrepid but misguided navigators poked their heads over the wall to find him doing it in the nearly nude; “It was very hot work but I still had my wellies on of course”. The forces of nature will do their worst to dislodge him from this precarious edge of Scotland but in the end the manicuring of grass will finish you off. Next year will see the opening of the Torsa Croquet and Country Club with customised hoops and crooked mallets and endlessly complicated and constantly changing house rules to ensure that no one can win. Watch out for thistles and don’t damage the vegetables and don’t forget to admire the planting. The Gin team will play around the house in one direction and the Whisky team will play in the opposite direction and the small beer will go in both directions at once which will be difficult but will keep them occupied while everyone else is taking refreshments. The winners buy the drinks while the losers do the mowing.