Everyday I check the letter box with shaking hands and a sinking heart. Everyday the story is the same. Everyday brings fresh disappointment. I’m still waiting on delivery of the out of body cosmic cyber fantasy that I ordered over the internet almost ten years ago. I got it from 2pissedbrokevisionariesinacurryhouse.org.uk and I tapped in my credit card details and gave my real world forwarding address. I’ve moved home several times since and my bank has changed it’s name and emigrated to Hong Kong but I still get the odd unexpected item cropping up my monthly statement. They make interesting reading although I am only guessing that they are books; “How to use java to make better coffee” (the luxury gift wrapped edition) or “Adult check subscription” or “Reality Check holidays” (an expensive one).
About a year ago I got so tired of waiting that I decided I might as well do it myself. Madfashionbitch and I drew up the most fantastic business strategy for world domination of designer lifestyles and fashion forecasting. Our good mates at Durlacher and elsewhere assured us that we were a dead cert for the big money but unfortunately I’m a bit of a slow typist and by the time we handed in our homework it was the year 2000 and investing in ‘slightly over ambitious business models’ had become, well. Last years model. Fortunately for us fashion is not so fickle, in fact in comparison to Venture Capital Investment, fashion is as solid as premium bonds. In spring everyone wants new clothes in bright colours, in summer they want a swimsuit and or a wedding dress, in Autumn they need a new coat and then there’s Christmas…
So the waiting is over and anyone can now visit madfashionbitch world and live out their dreams of flowers and fashion in colour. No, don’t click on http://www.madfashionbitch.com that’s just for journalists and people who live their lives second hand, this is a real place [195 Shoreditch High Street, London E1 6LG] it’s not very big but we never wanted 300% of internet users as our client base, like some people claimed back in the days of ‘slightly over ambitious business models’. We were aiming for anyone within a radius of say 500 yards, but not all of them, just the ones we liked the look of. It’s our world, we the boss.